


something really important

by bumbleking



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Temperance ending spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28510356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bumbleking/pseuds/bumbleking
Summary: “Sometimes when I wake up, feels like I’m back for a while… Like I got this body to myself, like I’m free. Seconds later feels like I’m missing something, something really important. Then I realize you’re there, always were, and this stupid wave of relief washes over me.”Sometimes he waits for the feeling. Just after waking up, bleary and staring at the ceiling, half-asleep still, Johnny lays there and he waits for V.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Male V, Johnny Silverhand/V
Comments: 15
Kudos: 181





	something really important

Sometimes he waits for the feeling. Just after waking up, bleary and staring at the ceiling, half-asleep still, Johnny lays there and he waits for V. 

It’s stupid, of course. V’s gone and he isn’t coming back; Johnny’s alone in this body now. But in the moments just after waking, before he remembers V isn’t there, Johnny will lie in the quiet and the warmth and he’ll wait for V to wake up too. Sometimes it only takes a few seconds for him to realize. Sometimes it takes minutes. They didn’t always wake up at the same time, him and V, if what Johnny did as an engram could really be called waking up. 

Feels like he’s lost V all over again every time he remembers. A gut-punch of everything he felt crawling out of that ice pool in Mikoshi, gasping and shivering and overwhelmed by sensation after so long being dead and feeling everything secondhand. He’d spent a day just fucking crying, or more accurately V’s body had been so overwrought and so choked up there’d been no outlet for all of it except for Johnny to curl on the floor of V’s apartment and shake, and shake, and shake. 

Those first couple of days were mostly a miserable blur. Then Johnny got evicted, because apparently V hadn’t bothered to pay his goddamn rent. He can practically hear the fucker laughing at him from the afterlife, or **—** or wherever he is now. Johnny tries not to think about it except for very late at night, when it’s all he can think about.

He _misses_ V. Fuck, he misses him like a part of himself he never knew he needed until it was gone. He misses him like he missed his own fucking arm, like an extension of his body or his soul or some shit. There really aren’t words for the way he feels, cause there’s no real way to explain missing another person who _was you._ Is you. Got so close to you that the lines where he ended and you began disappeared entirely. No way to explain all that, and then explain the way it felt having him torn away from you.

A bit like dying, actually. A bit like Soulkiller did _._ Except now Johnny’s left with all the gaps in him that V used to fill, and there’s no relief coming in the next second or minute or hour. There’s no relief at all.

He could hate V. Hate him for making that final choice. Hate him for giving up. Hate him for going back on what they agreed, all because **—** what? He did the math? He thought Johnny _deserved_ it? He was _tired?_

(“I miss you,” Johnny had said to the mirror, on one of the nights he indulged himself and got horribly, miserably drunk. “Fucking asshole.”) 

A part of him will probably always be waiting. Waiting for V to stir, stretch, say, _Miss me?_ with that fucking smug little smirk. 

And Johnny would say _Fuck you,_ and it would mean _Of course._


End file.
